Since most of us are stupid and cannot decide what is good or bad for us, the all knowing benevolent Government has decided to step in
The Indian government is to outlaw all images of smoking in Bollywood films and television shows in a move praised by campaigners as a “sensible step” but attacked by film-makers as a curb on artistic freedom. The ban, the most comprehensive of its kind in the world, will outlaw shots showing cigarette packs and advertising hoardings. Foreign movies and serials, increasingly popular especially when dubbed into local Indian languages, will have the offending images electronically blurred.[India to ban smoking in films and TV shows ]
So if James Bond is making love to a naked woman who is smoking, just the image of the cigarette will be blurred and that is the way it should be. Movies predating the ban are supposed to run a series of health warnings across the bottom of the screen. So when Shah Rukh Khan is about to beat up Amrish Puri, everything will pause and the hero, villain and sidekicks will wait till the health warnings flash below. This should heighten the tension in the scene.
Next the minister should ban guns. These can kill instantly and I don’t know why no one has campaigned against it. In predated movies, guns should be blurred. Some villains and sidekicks have bad teeth caused by paan chewing. Paan scenes should be banned. The entire song of Khaike Paan Banaraswala should be shown blurred. The word Paan should be bleeped. Did I forget to say this, a health warning should also be flashed. MNC products like Coke and Pepsi should only be shown blurred. Lassi can be shown un-blurred.
Most movies end in violence with one hero murdering lot of innocent sidekicks. This is not at all good. A sensible step would be to ban it, and predated movies will show it all blurred. With blurring you may think it is a porn movie, but hey it is a risk we have to take.
One of the essential scenes in a movie is a rain song and much water is wasted. The warning sign should be flashed before such scenes, so that residents of Chennai and Rajasthan do not attempt it at home, not to forget that the water should be blurred.
Ram Gopal Varma has been making many scary movies and it scares the bejeesus out of me. There should be a mandatory warning sign before each scare. If ghost like characters or Bobby Deol is in the movie, they should be blurred.
Finally with all this blurring, the only things that will remain unblurred are these. But they should not be banned since they cannot corrupt young minds.
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